The Birthday Misadventures of Athrun Zala
by Tobi Tortue
Summary: What is special about October the 29th? Athrun Zala's birthday, of course, but what else? Poorly wrapped presents? A kitchen themed amusement park? Haros from Hell? Or is it something far more sinister than anyone could have imagined?
1. Part I

**The Birthday Misadventures of Athrun Zala**

**Part I**

* * *

"Um, Cagalli?" Athrun asked, raising an eyebrow along with the oddly-shaped and hideously-wrapped package. "What _is_ this?" He continued holding the object aloft, and at arm's length. 

To his horror, Cagalli smiled and a light blush spread across her cheeks. She even batted her lashes as she looked down at the floor. She was twisting her ring. Athrun swallowed and tried to keep his nausea from showing. This would require tact.

"Well," she began girlishly, which made the muscles in Athrun's stomach clench, "I know that it's your birthday tomorrow, so I'm giving you a present." The toe of her shoes wiggled. "Don't open it until tomorrow, okay?"

"Right," Athrun responded weakly. He did his best to put a smile on his face.

"Anyway," Cagalli continued, straightening up and returning to her normal self, "I'll be working until late tomorrow, so I'll see you in the evening, and_then_ you can open your present." She gave him a quick flash of a grin. "You should try to guess what it is."

He set the present down on the coffee table, and then followed her to the door. She shoved on her coat and then stepped outside. Athrun stood just inside, and put one bare foot on top of the other, trying to keep warm.

"Good night," he said hurriedly, leaning forward and placing a quick kiss on her cheek. He rubbed the sides of his arms.

"Good night," she replied, and then turned and began walking down to her car.

Athrun shut the door and walked back to the warmth of his living room and the soft feel of his green carpet. He eyed the package with apprehension as he sat down carefully on his couch.

In the end, Athrun left the present there. He went quietly down the hall to his room and to sleep, blissfully unaware that the odd package signaled something far more uncomfortable than writing a tactful thank-you note….

* * *

Saturday, October 29th dawned clear and bright. The sunlight was crisp and there was only a hint of frost on the grass. Athrun Zala woke up feeling refreshed, and not at all uneasy. 

He opened his eyes because his room was all aglow with sunlight, and then he yawned, and debated going back to sleep. He rolled to his side, snuggling deeper into his blankets.

"Surprise!" yelled a voice from somewhere very close to Athrun. There was a flash of movement that accompanied the voice.

"Gaahh!" Athun shouted as he flailed helplessly in his sheets and rolled off the opposite side of the bed with a loud thud.

"Oh, Athrun, are you okay?" came the voice querulously. Athrun recognized it as Kira's voice, just before Kira's face appeared on the edge of the bed. Athrun threw a pillow at him. Kira dodged, giggling.

Rolling his eyes, Athrun disentangled himself from the blankets and threw them on the bed. "Kira, what are you doing here?" he asked with a frown.

Kira seemed to notice his friend's cranky morning mood, and began helping him make the bed. "I thought I'd surprise you. Oh, I forgot to say it, didn't I." Kira breathed in a huge mouthful of air, and then shouted happily, "Happy birthday, Athrun!" He beamed, and Athrun couldn't help but smile.

After fluffing the pillows, the two made their way to Athrun's kitchen.

"What…?" Athrun asked upon entering the room. He looked around the room, wondering if he had accidentally stepped into the wrong house.

Instead of a kitchen, he had what appeared to be a kitchen-themed ride at Sextilis Disneyland. There were brightly colored streamers hanging from the cabinets and one of the light bulbs had been switched out for a party bulb that blinked a different color every three seconds. There were plates of cookies that looked like his head, including a bluish-green frosting that acted as coloring for both his hair and his eyes. Someone had placed alphabet magnets on the fridge, and now the normally clean white appliance was telling him to "Have a GREaT daY AThRUN!" in rainbowy colors. The tablecloth now had little candles printed on it, and matched a pile of napkins. In the middle of it all, on a tall, glass platter that Athrun Zala knew he did not own, was an enormous pink cake, topped by a green haro.

"Good morning!" chirped the haro, flapping but otherwise remaining still.

"Eh…"Athrun began, but in truth, he did not know where to begin.

"Well, what do you think?" Kira asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"That's very…er…thoughtful," Athrun said helplessly. "Did you do this all by yourself?" he asked, even though he knew that with a cake that pink, there had to have been Lacus involvement.

"No, Lacus helped me a lot. But we decided that I'd better be the one to wake you up and surprise you." Kira looked away for a moment and his expression turned embarrassed. "Lacus pointed out that we didn't know if you slept nude or not."

Athrun could feel his face heat up, and hoped he wasn't beginning to match his birthday cake. "K-kira!" he cried indignantly. He tried to throw his arms into some kind of useful gesture, but he ended up simply folding them across his chest, and watching the cake with defiance.

"Happy birthday!" the haro squawked. It flapped again.

Athrun turned back to Kira. "So, um, I guess we should have breakfast." Athrun went to his fridge and tried to ignore its encouraging message. He heard a crunch that sounded suspiciously like someone eating an Athrun cookie. He turned around. "Kira?"

"Hm?" Kira responded through a mouthful of cookie and bluish-green frosting.

"I was thinking we might have real breakfast, not just cookies." Sometimes Athrun thought Kira was truly unbelievable. However, most of those times were when Kira was piloting the Freedom, and not standing in his kitchen.

"Oh, well, Lacus wouldn't let me eat any, and not even the dough," his friend complained, finishing his sentence with another bite of the cookie. Athrun wanted to go back to sleep.

Athrun took the milk from the fridge and set it on the table, avoiding eye contact with the green haro. He pushed aside an orange streamer and opened a cabinet, retrieving a bowl. Pushing aside and pulling back a few more streamers, he was able to successfully get the cereal box and a spoon. Kira continued sampling the cookies, at least until he took out a glass and poured himself some milk.

"So," Athrun said after a few bites of Mobile Suit Crunchies, "do you have any plans for the day?"

Kira looked out the window and lied obviously. "Er, no, not really, I mean, I was thinking of hanging out with you, but I might go see Lacus. Hey, I know what we should do," he continued, turning to face Athrun with a cheesy grin, "we should go to a park or something. It's a really nice day." Kira must have known he was doing a horrible job of setting up the surprise in the park, so he looked out the window and made small noises at the beautiful weather.

"Oh, sure," Athrun complied. He did not really want to put the effort into trying to get the truth out of Kira. He assumed that he would know soon enough anyway. Looking to change the subject, Athrun's thoughts drifted back to the odd present from Cagalli. "Anyway, do you know where Cagalli learned to wrap presents?"

"Huh?" Kira turned away from the window and sat down at the table, grabbing another cookie.

"I'll show you the present she got me." Athrun shook his head as he considered the horrible wrapping job. "She must have wrapped it herself, which is a nice sentiment and all, but still, someone needs to teach her how to fold paper." Athrun had another spoonful of Crunchies. "And about coordinating colors," he added.

"You're one to talk," Kira said smugly. Athrun shot him a puzzled look, and Kira explained. "Lacus has a bunch of pictures of when you two were dating, and in just about every one of them, you're wearing odd colors, like maroon and yellow. Who wears maroon and yellow?" He started to laugh a little.

Athrun drank the milk from his cereal bowl and hit Kira on the back of the head as he passed him on the way to the sink. Athrun considered maroon and yellow to be perfectly nice colors.

"Okay, so where's the present anyway? It must be really bad if _you're_ complaining about the colors," Kira joked as he put his milk glass in the sink and filled it with water.

"It's in the other room," Athrun answered, and the two walked into the living room.

But the present was gone.

Athrun looked at the coffee table in confusion. "Hm," he said, ducking to glance under the table. Maybe it had fallen off? "That's strange," he said after getting a questioning look from Kira, "I remember setting it down on the table last night before I went to sleep." He looked around the room and checked the shelves of the tv cabinet as Kira risked a glance behind the couch.

"Maybe you took it to your room?" Kira asked hopefully.

"Well, I don't remember doing that, but it's worth a look." Kira followed him down the hallway. "You'll know it if you see it, Kira," Athrun explained. "It's rather ugly."

Nearly half an hour later, Kira was beginning to look at the clock anxiously and Athrun was now checking the bathroom for the present. The very same present that he was sure he had not moved from the coffee table. Kira fidgeted in the bathroom doorway, and Athrun decided to just go to the park already, and look for the present later. He also decided that he would _find_ the present later, and this way could avoid thinking about all of the terrible things Cagalli would say or do if he did _not_ find the birthday present.

"Hey, Kira, why don't we just go for a walk already," Athrun suggested, straightening up as he realized that looking behind the toilet was not really going to help him find the present.

Kira looked caught. "Well, you really should find the present from Cagalli…" he began uneasily.

"I'll look for it when I get back," Athrun said firmly. He walked towards Kira and the door. "I'll have fresh eyes then, and I'll probably spot it right away," he reassured his friend.

Kira nodded, and led the way to the door, where his coat was hanging and his shoes were sitting. Athrun pulled his warm maroon coat from the closet and opted for the brown scarf rather than the yellow one. Slipping on his shoes, he followed Kira out the door and turned to lock it behind him.

"Huh?" Athrun said, perplexed. His key wouldn't turn. He jiggled it a little, and then tried to at least pull it out, but couldn't.

"Is something wrong?" Kira asked from a few steps down the walkway.

Athrun shook his head. "The key's stuck." He wrenched the key around and finally it moved. He heard the slight click from the locking mechanism and removed the key.

The doorknob fell off.

Athrun jumped back in alarm. "Wha-what's going on?!" Kira peered over his shoulder, and then exhaled cautiously. The doorknob rolled slightly in a spiral on the doormat, then lay still.

"I didn't do it," Kira said quietly. As Athrun continued to stand there in shock and bewilderment, Kira plucked up the offending brass knob and put it back into the hole in the door. "Maybe it'll just stay there like that until we get back?" he hazarded hopefully.

Athrun breathed a long sigh of frustration and then nodded. He hoped no one would try to break in while he was gone. Then again, if that happened, Athrun would probably be able to avoid eating pink haro cake for the next two weeks.

They turned right when they reached the sidewalk and although they were walking side-by-side, Athrun let Kira determine their path. There were several parks within walking distance of Athrun's house, and he wanted to make sure he went to the right one to get his birthday surprise.

Soon enough they were within sight of Chiisanayama Sculpture Park, the tall spire at the center carving a metallic gleam in the blue sky. The rim of the park had thick hedges and trees to keep out the sound of passing traffic and suburban noise, so Athrun still had no clue as to what might lay inside the leafy autumn-colored wall.

They crossed the street and slipped through the small entrance to the park. Athrun kept his senses alert, hoping that if he were surprised, he could portray himself much more elegantly than he had in the earlier part of the morning.

"The air here is so fresh," Kira declared, picking up a brisk walk.

Athrun snorted and kept pace with his best friend. Kira tried to look puzzled and indignant at the same time, but ended up only looking silly.

"Hey, is that a new work?" Athrun asked, pointing to some kind of spacist art. The wide and angular pieces of metal left large gaps, and it seemed to emphasize the emptiness of the space left behind rather than the silver structure. Taking a step back, Athrun realized that the space made a sort of warped hourglass shape.

Kira nodded thoughtfully. "I think so." They both studied the art for a moment.

Kira began to walk towards the center of the park, picking up a small tune and humming softly. Athrun took a step after him, and then heard a peculiar chirp. He glanced behind, but saw nothing. Tucking his brown scarf tighter around his neck, Athrun turned back to Kira and followed.

"Why don't we go to the spire?" Kira asked, though obviously he was already headed in that direction.

"Sure, let's," Athrun answered brightly, trying to keep Kira from knowing that he knew there was a surprise waiting for him.

The two friends walked past a few more sculptures, one of which seemed to have been recently vandalized by someone with something like a chainsaw. There were still small chips of dark metal on the grass.

"Whoa," Kira said, stopping in front of the misshapen shape that had been art only last week. "Wasn't this that statue of George Glenn that made him look like a robot?" Athrun shrugged. George Glenn was a pretty good guess, given that every park in the PLANTs probably had a statue of the first coordinator, if not two.

They passed by a dense patch of trees, and Athrun knew that the spire lay on the other side. He took a deep breath, hoping that no one was going to jump out at him. He walked around the trees, and Kira suddenly shoved him forward into a clearing that was anything but clear.

"Happy birthday!" Lacus Clyne's voice came floating through several large speakers. The pop star was standing on a stage decorated with multi-colored balloons, which was located next to a canopy that had two long tables of chips, cookies, and cake. A small crowd had already formed in the party area, creating a tense atmosphere of anticipation, which was setting off the haros and causing them to bounce around annoyingly. Lacus waved enthusiastically towards Athrun and Kira, the long pink sleeve of her dress swinging back and forth. "Athrun!" she called, and Athrun felt another shove from his best friend as the crowd started into a round of applause.

Feeling like a helpless pawn, Athrun went towards the songstress's beckoning hand. He hoped his smile did not look as much like a grimace as it felt. Lacus took his hand and helped him onto the stage.

"Athrun! Athrun!" shouted the haros, bobbing around him and begging for attention as if they were his illegitimate children. "Athrun!"

Just as Athrun turned to attempt to smile and wave at the crowd, the stage behind him gave a sudden thud as if it were falling apart. He looked behind him, and noticed that the set was still intact, but another curtain had been dropped in front of the plain black one. The new one was white, but also had rainbow bubble letters across it that spelled "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ATHRUN ZALA!" as well as a cartoon version of his face. The face appeared to be happy in the extreme, and included little upside-down Us for the eyes and a triangle for the mouth.

"Welcome, everyone," Lacus began melodiously, spreading her arms out to the crowd. Everyone in the park cheered. "Today we celebrate the birthday of a man who is many things. Athrun Zala is a brave hero and a fine diplomat, an innovative engineer and a skilled pilot. He is also a very good friend." Lacus turned to face Athrun as the crowd let out an appreciative "awww" at Athrun's friendliness. "Thank you, Athrun, and I hope we have many more years to celebrate you." Her blue eyes sparkled with true gratitude, and Athrun realized that despite however much he disliked ceremony and unnecessary rituals, he was glad that he had friends who would pull stunts like this just to make his day turn into something special.

"And now," Lacus was saying, turning back to the crowd, "I'd like to present Athrun with a song."

Immediately, the opening notes of Token of Water sprang to the stage and rolled out across the clearing. However, the words that came out of Lacus's bubblegum-pink lips were entirely different from the last time he had heard her sing the song. She turned to Athrun and smiled as she sang.

"_The day that you were born will be remembered by this song_

_And you may find it great that we all want to celebrate_

_While searching for a trusted friend, we look to you and laugh again_

_Because you are there, we find our hearts free to see the truth, so deep inside_

_If you feel all alone with no one there to take you home_

_Then you can just call on me, and with you is where I'll be_

_If you're lost in the darkness, I'll light the way_

_And I know that you will do the same for me_

_For it's all a part of friendship and it's easy to see-ee…_

_Athrun I want to wish you a happy day_

_And hope that you stay my friend, that's all I have to sa-ay _

_Now and then or here and there, I don't much care_

_Because it's your special day, I'm singing this for you_

_Close your eyes, make a wish, dreams come true…"_

The musical interlude began and Lacus swayed to the far side of the stage as Martin DaCosta, Andrew Waltfeld, Mu La Flaga and Murrue Ramius appeared carrying a very large cake. It was so large that for one heart-pounding moment, Athrun feared that Cagalli might have been hiding inside, waiting to spring out in a bikini. The cake was, of course, pink, but it also sported little white bows made from frosting as well as rainbow sprinkles on every other tier. When the four brought the cake closer, Athrun could tell that the sprinkles were actually shaped to look like tiny haros.

La Flaga gave Athrun a wink and began lighting the candles as Lacus took center stage and began singing again.

"_Athrun I want you to have a happy day_

_You've done so much for all of us, and we just want to say-ay_

_Now and then or here and there, we don't much care_

_But today is your special day, and this is all for you_

_Close your eyes, make a wish, dreams come true…_

_And so I hope your dreams come true…."_

As the music faded away, Lacus rushed to Athrun's side. "Make a wish, Athrun!" she said encouragingly. Athrun knew it was entirely impossible to blow out all of the candles at once, simply because he did not have a ladder and the top of the cake was perhaps eight feet above the stage. Still, he returned her endearing smile, and closed his eyes.

Athrun made his wish silently, and then blew out the candles as best he could. The crowd and everyone on stage broke into applause, and Athrun heard a few noises from those annoying party favors. Waltfeld pinched out a candle that Athrun missed, and La Flaga tried to surreptitiously do the same. Unfortunately, Captain Ramius saw him pluck out the candle to lick off the frosting, earning the pilot a pinch of his own.

With the main festivities over, Athrun was able to leave the stage and try to avoid mingling with the crowd of random passersby who had stopped to watch the live Lacus Clyne performance.

Athrun was attempting to lurk behind the bowl of hot cider when Kira joined him with a huge grin and a handful of cookies.

"There you are, Athrun!" Kira said, motioning the Archangel crew over to his hiding spot. Athrun sipped his cider.

"Happy birthday," Captain Ramius greeted him in the same tone one congratulates a high school graduate.

"Er, thanks," Athrun responded. He took another sip of his cider and felt his face finally start to blush from entirely too much attention.

"Yeah, happy birthday, Super Ace," Mu said grinning mischievously, using the title he had once heard from Meyrin. Athrun nodded and narrowly missed spluttering. He had asked the ex-CIC from the Minerva who had first called him that, but she had not been able to remember. Seriously, it was a poor nickname, and far less cool than something like "Hawk of Endymion"….

"Here's a little something for you," said the man who wore the name Desert Tiger like a well-earned badge. Athrun took the petit box politely and thanked them. Unlike Cagalli's present, this one had a simple yet effective wrapping job. The paper was silver and had only one strip of copper-colored ribbon tied in a bow around it.

"Should I open it now?" Athrun asked, but was suddenly interrupted by his cell phone.

"_Kimi no sudata wa…"_ sang the phone as he pulled it out of his pocket. He stared at the mini display screen on the top. "It's Yzak," he said in surprise. He flipped open the device and held it up to his ear. "Hello?" he asked into the receiver, trying not to feel stupid or overly loud.

"Zala, I have a problem." Yzak always enjoyed being concise. And overly loud.

Athrun held the phone a short distance from his ear. "Yes, Yzak? What is it?" He wondered what sort of problem it could be that Yzak would ask for his help, and could not come up with anything. As far as he knew, Yzak hated him only slightly less than he hated Kira, and avoided speaking to him unless he had a sure chance of ridiculing him or ordering him around.

"Well, Elsman had the_ brilliant_ idea of bringing me a demented haro, today," Yzak explained sarcastically. Something made a tinkling sound near Yzak.

Athrun blinked. "A_what?_"

"You heard me, Zala," Yzak continued in his angry commander-in-charge-of-your-life voice. "One of your crazy little creations for your ex-finacée happens to be in my hotel room right now." Yzak paused and Athrun could hear him take a deep, hopefully calming breath through his nose. "It's insane, Zala. It's the haro from Hell, and Elsman thinks it's funny." Athrun got the sudden impression that Yzak had actually been speaking to Dearka. Sure enough, Athrun heard a loud laugh from somewhere on the other end of the line that sounded suspiciously like the blond. "Go shoot yourself, Dearka!" he heard the commander shout angrily away from the phone.

"Look, Yzak, just put it outside," Athrun suggested calmly. His brow wrinkled as he considered something. "Wait, Yzak, where are you?"

"I'm visiting Orb with my jackass of a subordinate," Yzak replied, and Athrun could tell that he was giving Dearka a death glare. There was a small crash from presumably inside the hotel room.

"Oh, right, then just put it outside. It should just go find Lacus," he explained. He had worked hard to program the haros to do this. Athrun found himself getting strange looks from the people who surrounded him. They were probably wondering what kind of thing would, when put outside, automatically go find Lacus Clyne. Kira gave Athrun a worried look, and Athrun gave him a frown, reassuring the brunette that it was not some kind of hunter missile.

"Oh really?" Yzak asked in a tone that was far too skeptical. "Well, why don't you first tell me how to catch it?" Yzak smoldered.

"Just pick it up," Athrun said, by this time getting annoyed. "Look, Yzak, just try to deal with the haro on your own. It's not going to bite you or anything. It happens to be my birthday and I'm in the middle of a party," Athrun explained as the Archangel crew began to smirk at the thought of Yzak Joule, almighty Commander of ZAFT, fretting over a loose haro.

"I can't _just pick_ _it up!"_ Yzak roared into the phone. "It's bouncing around like it has rabies! And it keeps pulling out those tiny arms and throwing things!" Again, Athrun heard a crash, but this time it was accompanied by cry of pain from Dearka. "Fuck you, little piece of bouncing shit!" Yzak yelled, and then began breathing into the phone, a sure sign that he was moving into position to attack the haro.

"Yzak!" Athrun berated, hoping that Yzak was _not_ just about to deliver a deathblow to Lacus's beloved Mr. Pink.

"Shut up, Zala!" Yzak snarled viciously, causing Athrun to draw back from the phone. There was a loud crash and a shriek of rage from Yzak that caused Kira to jump back.

"What's going on?" Athrun said loudly in the direction of the phone, his expression turning to one of worry.

Yzak's voice came out rough and staticky, but still loud enough to hear at arm's length. "The little bastard is hiding under the bed, but I think it dragged Dearka's laptop under there with it…."

"Yzak! It's a _haro!" _Athrun pleaded. "It's not capable of doing harm!" By this time Lacus had joined their little circle and was looking around with an expression of confusion.

Yzak snorted loudly. "Get the chair, Dearka!" There was a sudden absence of breathing, and then the sound of the phone hitting the hotel's carpet. They heard a loud noise rather like splintering wood, and then the shrill voice of what clearly was a demented haro.

"I'm fiiiiiiine! Good niiiiiiiight-t-t-t!" There was a funny clicking noise when the haro spoke. Then there was an odd crunching noise, a shout from Yzak, and the dialtone hummed out across the empty air, reminiscent of a heart monitor when the patient dies.

"Oh my," said Lacus softly, putting a hand to her mouth. Kira took her into his arms. La Flaga's mouth hung slightly open in disbelief.

Athrun hoped they had not just held some kind of witness to Mr. Pink becoming Mr. Little Pieces of Metal.

A few minutes later, after everyone had calmed down a little, Waltfeld and Lacus insisted that Kira and Athrun go to Kira's house, which was not too far from the park, while the rest of the crew cleaned up. Athrun was glad to be away from the stage, which had continued to draw more innocent passersby to him like a magnet because it not only had his name and the words "happy birthday," but also a cartoon of his face.

"So," Kira began in an attempt to get Athrun's mind off the harrowing haro incident, "what did you think of the concert?"

Athrun allowed Kira's ploy to work as best as it could. He put his mind firmly on the song and the cake. "That was very thoughtful." He looked down, and then smiled over at Kira. "I'm glad to have friends like you," he said sincerely.

They came out of the park, and crossed the street into suburbia.

"Would you say you've been having a good birthday so far?" Kira asked, and although Athrun did not want to let him down, he could not help being honest.

"Truthfully, Kira, it's been a little odd." Athrun suddenly noticed a pit of uneasiness in his stomach that had been growing deeper throughout the day. Kira looked gloomy, so Athrun decided to elaborate. He pulled his coat tighter around him. "It's been fun and all, but I can't quite shake the feeling that something's not right…."

"What, worried about being old?" Kira asked, suppressing a grin.

Athrun pretended that Kira had successfully lightened the mood. "Yeah, soon I'll be thirty…." He sighed wistfully as if his youth had already been lost, and then gave Kira a mischievous look. "Even so, Kira, I should be more worried about you, seeing that you're actually older than me…."

Kira punched him softly in the shoulder, and they turned into his driveway.

"Birdy! Birdy!" called the mechanical bird. It fluttered metallically above them, and then swooped to land on Kira's shoulder.

"Birdy!" Kira shouted in surprise as the green robot faltered on its landing. Kira snatched the bird as it tumbled from his shoulder. "What are you doing outside?" he asked it, forgetting as usual that Birdy was incapable of speech.

Athrun smiled to see Kira with the green metaphor of their friendship. Kira carried the mechanical bird to the door, and then tossed him into the air to close the door behind them. Birdy flapped down the hallway and disappeared into the living room.

Athrun shrugged off his coat and unwrapped his scarf. Kira took both their coats and hung them in the closet by the door, then put his toes into his slippers and walked to the kitchen. "Do you want anything to drink?" he called as Athrun kicked off his shoes.

"No, I'm good, especially after that party," he replied, heading to the living room. He sat on the couch and pulled a blanket over himself, feeling cozy. Birdy flapped awkwardly on his perch above the tv.

Athrun looked at the robot bird carefully. Maybe it needed a tune-up. Even so, he had to admit that Birdy was holding up pretty well. The thing had been flying around for years in combat zones and zero-g environments, and this was the first time the robot seemed to be a little off.

He untangled himself from the blanket and had just arrived to inspect Birdy when Kira entered the room with a cup of hot chocolate.

"What are you doing?" he asked, peering over at Birdy from the couch.

Athrun picked up the robot bird and abruptly gasped in shock, disregarding Kira's question entirely.

Birdy only had one leg.

In ten minutes, Kira had managed to produce enough copper wire and metal tubing for Athrun to repair the damaged bird. Kira had managed to keep from crying, but his nose had turned all red and his eyes had looked quite watery for some time after the initial shock had worn off. He hovered behind Athrun's shoulder as Athrun tried to remember how he had built Birdy.

Athrun grumbled in discontent. He did not want to take the entire bird apart—that would probably cause Kira to curl up in a corner and cry for at least two days—but he did not remember which wires connected to where when faced with several of them protruding from the space where the bird was supposed to have a leg. He stared at the green and yellow metal, hoping that through some miracle, the answer would come to him.

"Well?" Kira asked timidly as if Birdy were a live animal undergoing intensive surgery.

Athrun leaned back, keeping his eyes on the one-legged fowl. "I can't remember exactly how I built it," he confessed. "I haven't looked at the original drawings since I built it. I don't even know where they are." Athrun felt a huge swelling of guilt filling up the pit of uneasiness.

"Wait!" Kira said, sprinting down the hall. Athrun blinked after him, then turned back to the table where his eyes refocused on the prostate Birdy and the bits of wire and tubing.

Kira returned in a flash, holding up what appeared to be Athrun's notebook from elementary school. Athrun shook his head in disbelief as Kira presented it to him with a proud smile.

"You left it at my house when you went to the PLANTs," Kira explained as Athrun opened it up to the first page, where he found a set of chemistry notes and a few doodles of robot dogs. "Actually, I'd forgotten I'd had it until Cagalli insisted on looking through a few of my old things about a month or so ago." Athrun looked up at his friend in curiosity. Kira shrugged. "Apparently she thought that for twins we didn't seem to know that much about each other's childhood." He smiled, and Athrun could tell that Kira thought it was a wonderful idea for the two of them to get to know each other better. "Cagalli nearly exploded when she found your old notebook among my stuff, so I let her borrow it for a while. She gave it back only two days ago."

"Good thing she did, too, or we'd have to go a lot farther to get everything to rebuild Birdy," Athrun said, turning back to the table and setting the notebook out in front of him. He flipped through it, past sketches of pre-haros and English grammar notes, until he finally found a two-page spread devoted entirely to Birdy, the culmination of his mechanical experience gained at elementary school and the prize that sent him to a prestigious middle school in the PLANTs.

He quickly got to work on the leg, and within minutes was able to piece together a working limb. He removed the piece of the old leg from the socket, and snugged the new one in, making sure to attach each wire properly.

"You could probably paint the leg yourself," Athrun said to Kira, pulling gently on the leg to check how well it held up. He flipped Birdy to its feet and moved the hidden switch to the "on" position.

Birdy flapped once, twice, and then used both its legs to launch into the air and land gracefully on Kira's head.

"Yay!" Kira shouted, clapping. Birdy flew in a circle around him, and Kira laughed a thank you to Athrun.

Athrun looked at the chunk of Birdy leg sitting on the table. There was something his subconscious was trying to tell him….

Why had Birdy torn up a leg?

Why had the haro gone crazy at Yzak's hotel?

Why was the robotic George Glenn in pieces?

Why had Athrun's doorknob fallen off?

And finally, where was Cagalli's present?

Athrun sat there, staring at the hunk of twisted metal, willing it to give him some kind of clue to the reasons behind the day's strange events. He heard Kira laughing and playing with Birdy in the other room, sounding distant. There was something, he knew, something that he could not quite put his finger on, yet was staring him right in the face.

With a long sigh, Athrun stood from the table, accidentally knocking the notebook to the floor. He reached to pick it up, and suddenly froze.

The pit of uneasiness became bottomless as Athrun recognized what was now literally staring him right in the face….

* * *

Well, this was horribly fun to write... Happy (belated or very, very early) birthday, Zala! 

If you have Token of Water (Mizu no Akashi) on your iTunes or whatever, go back and sing along because that just makes it that much more fun. Sorry about the cliffhanger. I'll post the rest tomorrow, probably. Thanks to SilverSoleAlchmst1, who reminded me of my favorite character's birthday, and to anja-chan for betaing, as usual. Thank you Yammit for reading it for typos before any one else reviews.

Please read and review! If you enjoyed this, I might write more in this style/genre...


	2. Part II

**The Birthday Misadventures of Athrun Zala**

**Part II**

* * *

There was only one thing that could have caused all of this. Athrun stared at the open spread of the notebook, feeling a shudder of horror run through his body as he contemplated the faded pencil marks he had sketched over ten years ago.

Cagalli must have seen these designs. Being unversed in the language of mechanical engineering, she would have thought that this was simply a robotic toy, similar to the cute, little Birdy or the innocent Mr. Pink.

She would not have known that Batty was different.

Athrun slowly picked up the old notebook, remembering back to when he had first come up with the concept that Cagalli had forced into reality. He had been trying to come up with something for the end of elementary school science project, and Kira had told him that a flying toy was impossible. Athrun's first idea had been to prove him wrong with Birdy—a winged machine capable of flight. But Athrun's second idea had taken him further.

Athrun had spent many hours programming Batty, hoping that he could find a way to outdo something that had turned out to be as simple as flight. Unlike Birdy, Batty would be far more intelligent. Batty would recognize human patterns and would be capable of a simple kind of learning. Batty would solve puzzles and, if broken, would search out replacement parts and repair itself as best it could. In fact, Batty would find parts that were most similar to it and use them. Athrun had even hoped that perhaps Batty could rebuild itself even better than he could.

But Athrun had decided to never build Batty. He had perceived that he was not skilled enough to write the toy's underlying program properly. He had diagramed a few important components, but had never been able to get them to fit together. He had wanted to give Batty the ability to help itself and a strong impulse to survive, but then the toy would do nearly anything to keep itself working. On the other hand, if he prioritized a human's survival over the toy's, Batty would have rushed off to save poverty-stricken third-world countries. Athrun had given up the project early, preferring to work on the simpler Birdy. Athrun had abandoned the idea, preferring to perfect Bidy's flight for zero-g environments. Given the competitive nature of the science project, Athrun had never told Kira and had not asked his friend (who was far better at computer programming) for help. The result was a half-finished combination of survival instincts and the ability to learn: a dangerous toy.

The pieces all clicked together in Athrun's mind, and he straightened up suddenly. He simply had to find Batty, and then destroy it. Cagalli would probably be upset, but even that was preferable to a rampaging toy bat trying to take apart each and every machine it came across.

Batty must have opened the package Cagalli had wrapped around it, and then, following Cagalli and Athrun's example, discovered that the doorknob was how someone opened the door. So Batty had disabled the doorknob, and probably used the hole left in the door to get out. But Batty was too large for the doorknob hole, and had probably damaged itself on its way out. Which meant that it was searching for replacement parts. Undoubtedly, Batty had come across the robotic-looking statue of George Glenn, taken it apart, and come up empty-handed. From there, it must have spotted the haro that Yzak and Dearka later caught. Batty must have taken wiring—the only thing they would have in common—from the poor haro, and then moved on. Then it had found Birdy, and taken Birdy's leg, probably to salvage the tubing and bits of metal. But if Batty had really damaged itself in the attempt to get out of the house, then it would need more than Birdy's leg. In fact, the implications of that thought…_damaged itself_…made Athrun question the programming that went into the robot in the first place. Perhaps Batty was willing to harm itself to achieve some kind of eventual goal….

Athrun's sudden intake of breath seemed to echo around the room.

Batty was trying to make itself better. Batty was not interested in simple repairs, but was probably trying to make itself stronger, faster, and smarter.

"Kira!" Athrun yelled, tucking the notebook under his arm and rushing into the living room.

Kira glanced around, startled, and Birdy came to perch on the brunette's head. Kira seemed to take in his friend's worried expression and was immediately serious. "What's wrong, Athrun?" He pulled Birdy off his head, and held the robot toy quietly, waiting for Athrun's answer.

"It's…" Athrun began, suddenly wondering how Kira would take the idea of his best friend and his sister accidentally creating the world's most dangerous toy. His cell phone interrupted him.

"_Kimi no sudata wa…"_

Athrun pulled out the phone and glanced at the display screen in frustration. It was Meyrin Hawke. Of all the times for the little girl to call him!

He opened the phone, and was already speaking. "Look, I don't have much time to talk, okay Meyrin?" Athrun searched for an adequate excuse that would not alarm her. "I'm, uh, on a scavenger hunt…thing."

"Huh?" she squeaked, the sound of ocean waves buzzing dimly in the background. "But, um, I need your help…"

Athrun was, for some reason, startled by this. "Wait, you weren't calling just to wish me a happy birthday?" he asked, his brow wrinkling. Kira gave him a pleading look and Athun realized he had left his friend in suspense. He held up his hand to Kira, asking him to be patient.

"It's your birthday?!" Meyrin gasped. "I'm sorry, Athrun! But we really need you here at the Archangel dock!" Athrun felt the bottomless pit in his stomach grow cold. "Is Kira with you?"

Athrun nodded as he replied weakly. "Ye—"

Meyrin screamed and Athrun heard an explosion. "Meyrin!" he yelled, catching Kira by surprise. "Meyrin!"

Through the cell phone's staticky roar, he made out a few words from a scratchy high-pitched voice.

"…robot…Arch…attacking like…can't hold…longer…Freedom is…please…."

There was a loud roar from the phone, and Athrun held it away from his ear just as the sound faded to a simple, long, lonely dial tone.

Athrun's eyes lifted from the phone, across to Kira. His friend's purple eyes were wide with shock and confusion.

"Get in the car, Kira, I'll explain on the way," Athrun said, moving to the door and grabbing his coat and scarf. Kira nodded solemnly, following.

* * *

Thick, black smoke unfurled towards the sky from the secret docking bay of the battleship Archangel. Kira was out of the car, running towards the cliff before Athrun had even stopped the car. He parked hastily on the side of the road, knowing that the gate would already be locked due to the emergency.

He jumped over the guardrail and slid several meters down the slope in pursuit of Kira, who was disappearing into the waves of dark smoke. Athrun lifted his scarf to cover his mouth and nose, and plunged onward, his eyes watering. He lost sight of Kira, but knew that they were both heading to the same doorway.

He half slid, half ran down the steep slope until his feet splashed into ankle-deep cold salt water. The sand underneath him gave way under his momentum, and it took him a moment to unstick his feet and hurriedly trudge towards the docking bay's pilot emergency door. He ran his left arm along the craggy cliff face as he sloshed through the water and smoke. He stuck his right arm out in front as his visibility dropped to about an arm's length. The waves sounded eerily calm, lapping gently against the rock wall, the only sound except for a deep rumbling from under the ground.

Athrun vainly hoped that Batty was not involved with this incident. He coughed against his scarf and blinked hard, causing soot-filled tears to leak out.

"Ah!" came a distinctly Kira-like voice when Athrun's outstretched arm collided with the smooth material of a coat. Kira turned around quickly, recognized Athrun, then turned back to what was undoubtedly the doorway. Kira's face was blackened with soot, making his eyes seem wider and whiter than usual. Bits of white ash clung to his hair, some floating off as he activated the entry code.

The quiet succession of beeps was their only warning before a hot blast of smoke poured from the opening doorway. Kira dropped into the water like a stone and Athrun ducked to the side, the heat causing even the smoke to waver in the air. The exposed portion of his face seared, as he faced the blast, searching desperately for Kira. The fire roared loudly, and long orange tongues of flame licked out into the smoky air. Athrun started as something suddenly grabbed his leg, but it was only Kira surfacing by his side, rubbing his eyes to clear them of soot and saltwater. His face looked red, but he did not seem to have any serious burns.

They shared a long look, the sound of the fire inside making speech nearly impossible, and Athrun shrugged off his coat, dousing it in the water that was still surprisingly cold. He did the same with his scarf as Kira stood, and then draped the scarf around his head, leaving a gap only for his eyes. He pulled the drenched coat on, zipping it to the throat. He reached for Kira's drenched purple gloves, and slid them off his friend's hands.

"Athrun, what are you—" Kira began with a voice that sounded dimmed, and then his eyes widened in sudden comprehension as Athrun began shoving the wet material on his fingers. Kira began to shake his head, and he reached out a hand.

Athrun avoided the hand, and lifted his eyes with a smile. Before his friend could stop him, he brought his arm up to shield his eyes and dashed through the doorway.

Immediately he was dizzy from the heat. He staggered forward, his eyes squinting and watering. The icy cold of the water was rapidly heating up. He had to move quickly. Knowing the futility of trying to shout above the crackling of the fire, Athrun kept quiet, and made his way past reddening metal railings and flaming air vents. The soles of his feet felt like they were burning.

The smoke cleared for a sudden moment, and Athrun could see the Archangel where it lay in the dock. The tanks were being flooded, meaning that they were evacuating the battleship. Just outside the boarding door, Athrun could see a few figures attempting to fight back the flames with heavy-duty fire extinguishers. Another figure ran from the smoke and aboard the battleship. The smoke obscured his vision again, but Athrun could make his way to the gangplank by memory.

"Get aboard!" yelled Meyrin as Athrun emerged from the smoke and the fires that burned like Hell itself. She braced herself back as she shot another spray of thick white foam into the fire. Sweat had caused the soot on her face to smear and stick to her like oil.

Athrun loosened his scarf as he approached her, letting it fall around his throat. Meyrin's eyes widened in recognition and despite the situation, she gave him a smile. He shouted to be heard above the fire even though he was only a step away from her. He pointed at the Archangel.

"Are the mobile suits inside?" he asked loudly. Meyrin listened intently, sprayed a patch of flame, and then shook her head.

"No," she yelled back. "The Freedom malfunctioned and went out of control! We couldn't get to the Justice!"

Athrun had a horrible feeling, realizing what it must mean for the Freedom, arguably the most advanced piece of machinery in the world, to malfunction.

Batty was after the mobile suit's nuclear reactor core.

This was one of very few times in Athrun's life when he knew exactly what would be the right thing to do. What made this occasion even more rare was that Athrun knew that he had to be the one to do it.

With a steely determination, Athrun shouted to Meyrin, this time pointing into the flames in the direction of the Justice's hangar. "I'm going to get my mobile suit!" If Batty had control of the Freedom, then the Justice was the only mobile suit in the vicinity that would be able to stop it. And only Athrun could pilot the Justice.

He relooped his scarf over his nose, and then gave Meyrin a quick thumbs-up to reassure her. She looked worried, but the her brow wrinkled suddenly, fiercely, and she turned the nozzle of the fire extinguisher in the direction Athrun was about to go. A stream of foam pushed back the flames and created a small, faltering pathway. She nodded, her lips pressed tightly together, and Athrun rushed back into the fire before the pathway was lost.

Athrun had only been able to run several meters before his vision became horribly blurry and his skin felt like it was burning. The air seared the insides of his lungs, turning each breath into a painful hiss. He pulled the scarf together, even closer to his eyes.

He wondered if he would succeed. If he did not, there was always Kira to save the world. He had told his friend about Batty, so there was someone else who understood what was happening. But perhaps this once, Athrun Zala would be the one to really fight the good fight. Perhaps this once he would know _why_ he was fighting….

Athrun tried to run across the hot and (alarmingly) sticky grating in front of the ZGMF-X19A Infinite Justice, and came to an abrupt halt. He hung his head as a spell of dizziness threatened his balance and he felt near to passing out. The heat was suffocating him.

But what would Cagalli say? Keep fighting on, and don't give up and die? Sometimes that was easier said than done, but the sudden memory of Cagalli stopping his previous martyr attempt at the end of the First Bloody Valentine War convinced him that he needed to keep moving. Once inside the Justice, he would be better off anyway.

He forced his feet to take him to the edge of the walkway, avoiding use of the railings for balance. Undoubtedly, contact with them would only scorch Kira's gloves and probably burn his hands, making piloting a far more difficult and painful task.

He kicked the hatch panel rather than trying to touch it with his hand as normal. The cockpit opened, and Athrun dove in quickly, sealing the hatch behind him so the smoke and fire would not be able to follow.

Athrun slowly unwound the scarf from his face as he powered up the Justice and flicked the cockpit temperature to the coolest setting. The scratchy brown fabric rubbed painfully against the portions of his face that had not been covered. Blinking hurt.

Athrun kicked off his slightly melted shoes, and threw them and Kira's gloves behind him. He buckled himself in tightly, and pulled the Justice free of the fiery power cords and flimsy metal scaffolding. He crashed straight into the pilot walkway, and forced the mobile suit through the flame. His visibility was no better, but the temperature of the cockpit was far superior to the blazing temperatures outside, allowing him to take deeper breaths without pain. He kept alert for the Freedom, and Batty, but there was no sign of them.

The ground seemed to suddenly shake, and an enormous cloud of black smoke billowed up in front of him. He moved the Justice back, trying to see what was happening, and then caught a sudden movement from the corner of his eye.

Athrun powered up the leg and back thrusters in a leap for the ceiling, moving the Justice's shield to block the sudden attack from a beam sword. The Freedom's soot-blackened form burst through the smoke, as formidable as ever.

Athrun fired the CIWS to keep the Freedom at bay for a few moments, knowing that the small bullets would have no effect on the phase shift armor. Drawing his beam sword, he slashed as he accelerated quickly past the stunned Freedom and towards the Archangel's hangar space.

His opponent threw up the Freedom's arms to block the sudden attack, but was knocked backwards with the force of the blow. Athrun sailed past, towards the exit.

The pool of water that the battleship usually occupied was near to boiling, and thankfully the ship had managed to leave the docking area. Hopefully it was submerged and getting as far away as possible. He turned the Justice to the entrance to the Clyne Faction's secret base, when suddenly a stream of bullets punctuated the water, and the Freedom raced to confront the Justice, its head-mounted CIWS firing rapidly, aiming closer and closer to the Justice.

Athrun brought up his shield and shot out the hangar gate backwards, lifting up into the bright October air. The sea splashed wildly below him as the Freedom veered out of the hangar and spread its blue wings.

Athrun kept the Justice between the Freedom and the bright sun, hoping that Batty would not be able to pick him out on the light sensors. He aimed his beam rifle as the Freedom drew its beam sword and swung it aimlessly in front of itself a few times.

The Justice rocketed down towards the ocean and the enemy mobile suit, firing a few shots in quick succession. The first shot hit the Freedom on the shoulder, the next hit the suit's left arm. The third hit the beam sword, and caused the weapon to explode, taking one of the Freedom's hands with it.

"…Athrun?" queried a voice from across the radio channel. It sounded like Meyrin. He swerved the Justice to the side to avoid colliding with the damaged Freedom, and spun to face the mobile suit as he tapped a button inside the cockpit, allowing him to answer the call.

"I'm a little busy," he replied, shoving up the shield to protect himself as the Freedom pulled out its own beam rifle and began leveling shots at him. He dodged right, then up, dancing closer to the Freedom.

"I'll be your CIC," the girl informed him, her voice staticky.

"Right," he responded, drawing the beam sword once more. He dove towards the Freedom, hoping to put it all the nonsense to an end with one cut of the glowing, pink blade.

"Wait!" shouted a voice across the open radio channel, and this time it did not belong to Meyrin. Athrun hesitated and withdrew, shooting past the Freedom without dealing any damage. That voice… it had sounded like….

"Kira?" Athrun asked, watching the Freedom closely as it returned the beam rifle to its holster and drew a second beam sword.

"Yes," his friend responded. He heard a bit of shuffling from the connection, and assumed that Kira had switched places with Meyrin. Kira's voice came through stronger when he resumed speaking. "Athrun, you can't just cut the Freedom apart. If what you said about Batty is true, then you have to be very, very careful."

"I'm pretty sure that what I said about Batty is true, Kira," Athrun replied, pulling back as the Freedom came at him, swinging the sword in wild, sudden arcs. "I designed it, remember?" he continued darkly, ducking under the Freedom and spinning to face it once more.

"But you didn't design the Freedom," Kira said, and Athrun detected a measure of concern in his best friend's voice. "The Freedom has a Hyper-Deuterion Nuclear Fission Reactor inside it! And we have no idea how far Batty has penetrated the system! We don't know what that thing has done to the Freedom! If you attack it and something inside it has changed, then you might accidentally detonate the Freedom's core!"

The truth of the statement hit Athrun's consciousness like a bolt of lightning. Any battle that the Freedom and Justice participated in could not be an ordinary battle, with ordinary stakes. One wrong move could mean not only the incineration of himself and both machines, but the contamination of most of Orb's seaside.

He put his beam sword away and brought up his shield. If he could not attack the mobile suit normally, then what could he do? Unlike most machines, the Strike Freedom would not power down from a lack of energy. With its special core, it could continue to fight as long as necessary. With Batty controlling the unit, it meant that the sophisticated toy could wreak havoc until someone put an end to it.

But how to get rid of it without destroying himself and polluting Orb's waters with radiation?

He had to find out how far Batty had penetrated the system, and exactly how the small mechanical terror was manipulating Kira's mobile suit. Athrun knew everything about Batty, and quite a bit about the Freedom, so if he could just piece it together….

"Kira!" Athrun yelled into his cockpit, blocking another poorly-devised attack from the white mobile suit. "Can you send the Freedom's technical plans to the Justice?"

There was a pause across the connection, evidence of Kira's hesitation.

"I think that I might be able to figure out how much of the system Batty has corrupted by watching the way the Freedom moves. But to do that, I need to know the exact layout of the Freedom," Athrun explained, following the jerky movements of the Freedom with his teal eyes.

"Good idea," Kira answered. "I'm sending the plans to you now."

Athrun brought up his shield, deflecting beams from the Freedom's rifle. He glanced down at the Justice's OS screen in front of him. There was a new file, labeled _ZGMF-X20A Strike Freedom_. He used one hand to pull the stowed keyboard out in front of him and left the other to defend himself with the shield, powering up the protective beam in it.

Athrun's right hand flashed over the keyboard, and his eyes darted back and forth between the OS screen and the screen that showed him Batty's increasingly complex maneuvers.

Athrun knew he had to work quickly. The mechanical bat was tiny compared to the Freedom, and had no way to effectively cut through the Freedom's armor and all of the interior structures necessary for the mobile suit to stand up to blows during heavy combat. There was a good chance that Batty had not yet corrupted Freedom's nuclear core, but with every moment that chance dropped. But even so, Batty had gained as much control as it had so quickly, leaving Athrun stumped as to why. The bat had no weapons built into it, unless one counted the tiny hooks on its wings.

The Justice plummeted to the sea as he dodged a string of beams from the Freedom's beam rifle. He pulled open the Freedom's hydraulics file, and checked it for areas the mechanical bat had obviously corrupted. He pulled the Justice out of its dive and spiraled upwards, alarmed at how closely the Freedom was tailing him. Athrun checked the proximity of the hydraulic lines to the power cords in a glance, relief flooding through him as he realized that there was an extra layer of lead surrounding the power cords to prevent radiation contamination and deterioration in the rest of the machine. But if Batty had managed to break into the Freedom in one area….

Athrun brought his shield up to defend once again, and was surprised as the Freedom suddenly veered towards him for a stab with the beam sword. Batty was evolving rapidly, and gaining more speed and mobility with each passing second. He cut the engines on the Justice and free-fell towards the water, turning the thrusters on full before he hit the sea and jetting out across the waves. He rolled the Justice onto its back and watched as Batty switched on the Freedom's Voiture Lumière booster engines and sped after him.

The Voiture Lumière already? Athrun was shaken by the alarming rate at which Batty learned to control the world's most powerful mobile suit, even as he watched the tiny sparkles of gas slide off its wingtips.

He wondered how long it would take the bat to discover the DRAGOON system.

Athrun swung the Justice's feet into the water and tipped the machine in the other direction, keeping the thrusters on full. Jets of seawater sprayed upwards as the mobile suit changed course and headed back in the direction it had come, still skimming just above the waves. Athrun had gained a short lead on the Freedom, and he used the time to look back at the OS screen. He brought up the wing structure plans, wondering if he could tell how deep Batty was by comparing the depth of the wings systems to the length of time Batty had spent controlling the mobile suit.

"Kira," Athrun said loudly over the hum of his own mobile suit and the crashing sound of the waves, "ask them when the Freedom first started behaving oddly!"

The pilot-turned-CIC gave him an affirmative response, and then Athrun heard him distantly voice the question to the others aboard the Archangel.

Athrun rolled the Justice onto its back and raised his shield to block Batty's next attack, and was shocked to find that the mobile suit had disappeared. He searched for it frantically on his radar, and then felt something smash into the Justice, driving the mobile suit underwater.

Damage lights flashed on in the cockpit as Athrun put his other hand back onto the mobile suit's controls. The Justice burst from the water and nearly collided with the Freedom for a second time. Part of the Justice's flighter pack was damaged, but it was not too bad. The Freedom looked to be in worse condition, soot-streaked with a hissing, steaming stump instead of a right hand and deep black scars across its left shoulder and arm.

"They say it's been about 10 minutes!" Kira's voiced echoed around the cockpit.

"Athrun, are you okay?" Sitting in the CIC's chair, Kira undoubtedly knew that the Justice had taken a bit of damage.

"I'm okay," he called back, shooting the harmless bullets at the Freedom to distract it and then forcing his mobile suit to leap into the sky.

He glanced down at the plans on the OS screen and brought the keypad out again, keeping a watchful eye on the whereabouts of the Freedom.

He analyzed the Freedom's wing plans, and suddenly wondered how Batty had managed to penetrate that far into the mobile suit.

The Freedom's blue wings were designed as if they were systems independent of the mobile suit as a whole, much like the way the Impulse's arms, legs, torso, and flight pack were all independent units. Even the power for the Voiture Lumière engines ran through a converter and it looked as if the entire wing structure was designed to pull free in the event of intense strain, which would probably allow the Freedom to escape if ever it was caught by its wings or trapped in a tight situation.

But if it all worked in a separate space, then had Batty already penetrated the entire Freedom? Did that leave him with no choice other than to lead Batty into space and detonate the Freedom?

No, there had to be another way. It was ridiculous to think that in ten minutes, the tiny bat-toy had managed to infiltrate the entire system. He glanced down at the plans again, looking for something that would give him a clue.

He let the Justice drop in free-fall once again, sailing downward past the confused Freedom. As long as he could continue to keep his mobile suit one step ahead of the deranged toy, he would be able to discover what was going on, and then stop it.

For some reason, the power for the Freedom's wings had an extension that seemed to lead to somewhere towards the mobile suit's head. To the CIWS? Something seemed odd about the lines of hydraulics and electronic nerve-simulators that spread through the system. And there was something about the way the vents were placed on the top edges of the wings….

That was it!

Batty was small enough to have simply crawled inside the Freedom's auxiliary air vents, and then even its small claws would have been enough to tear through the soft metal that lined the inner wing. All Batty had to do was replace its own battery-device plug-in with the Freedom's converted wing power cord to take advantage of Freedom's endless power. He realized that although the energy differed immensely in intensity, both Batty and the Freedom's wings probably used the same kind of power input recognition device. And to move the Freedom, Batty had probably rerouted its own nerve-simulators to the Freedom's. The hydraulics were already programmed to react to signals from the nerve-simulators.

This was a battle Athrun Zala could fight. He was fighting against something that was threatening the lives of his friends, and the lives of people he had sworn to protect. He would face this threat, and defeat it.

Athrun took a deep breath as the surface of his consciousness rippled, then broke, and he sank deep into the clear and calm water of the superior evolutionary element destined factor.

If Batty were controlling the Freedom by infiltrating its wings….

Athrun stopped the Justice and turned to face the oncoming mobile suit, discarding his beam shield. He flexed his arms and watched calmly as the Freedom zoomed towards him, its beam rifle raised towards him.

And if the Freedom's wings were easily detached….

Athrun flipped the switch to activate the Justice's rarely-useful toe thrusters, and at the same time powered up both the chest and back thrusters. To the pilot, time was in slow-motion as the red mobile suit lifted upwards and rotated forwards at the same time.

Then all Athrun had to do was pull the Freedom free from its wings.

The Freedom rushed forward, and found itself suddenly underneath the twisting frame of the Justice. Upside-down and behind the Freedom, Athrun reached out his mobile suit's arms and grabbed firmly onto the thick pieces of blue metal, the glittering specs of concentrated gas twirling around the both of them. The Freedom's armor groaned at the strain, and Athrun brought up the Justice's legs to its chest. He kicked out at the Freedom, refusing to let go of the wings even as lights flashed throughout his cockpit, warning him of the strain on the Justice's arms.

Sweat beaded down Athrun's forehead, across the burned streak around his eyes. He ignored the feeling of pain and with a electric snap and the sound of twisting, breaking metal, he ripped the wings from the Freedom's back.

The empty mobile suit sparked, convulsed, and fired random thrusters before suddenly depowering and falling towards the blue ocean. The glittering wings shut down as a small explosion rocked the top of the right wing, leaving a smoking crater.

A shining, copper bat-wing drifted out of the wreckage of the right wing, and caught in the high atmospheric winds, glinting as it sped out over the water and disappeared into the clouds.

* * *

When he finally reached home, Athrun fell onto his couch rather than sat on it. He let out a long breath and looked across the room at the clock on the wall, trying to relax.

His birthday was almost finally over.

It could not be over soon enough. The day had gone from a series of messes and turned into one big mess, and he would be glad to put it behind him. His eyes still burned and his throat was still dry, despite being treated by one of the Archangel's on-call medics. He wondered how long it would take for the patch of skin around his eyes to fully heal, and when he could stop smearing that strange-smelling medical ointment over it. It was not so much that the spot hurt, but more that it looked funny in a certain kind of light and that he felt like a girl putting on lotion when he treated it.

With that thought in mind, Athrun stood and turned off most of the lights in the room. He kept the small lamp in the corner on, and then decided that the room was too dim. So he went to the storage closet by the hallway and pulled out a few emergency candles. He stared at them, and decided that his birthday had indeed counted as an emergency.

He set them above the fireplace, lighting them one by one. And then the doorbell rang.

Athrun blinked, and glanced at the time again. Who would be coming at such a late hour? He fervently hoped that it was not some poor fisherman who had been wounded by a piece of copper bat wing that had fallen out of the sky. Though that would really be the kind of thing that would fit with the rest of his day….

He went to the door and then heard a clump as the doorknob fell off, even though he had not touched it.

"Ah!" came a young, female voice from beyond the door. "It fell off! What the hell kind of place is this?" She started muttering angrily to herself. "Athrun, your house should be in better condition than this, but if it's falling apart, why do you still—"

"Um, why don't you just come on in, Cagalli," Athrun said, opening the door and stopping Cagalli from ranting about the kinds of conditions he lived in. She looked startled by the sudden opening of the door, but quickly composed herself and walked in.

He closed the door behind her, but without the doorknob, it sort of banged into the doorframe and bounced open again. He gave a heavy sigh and gave up, propping it closed with an umbrella.

"Um…" said Cagalli, staring in utter shock. She looked ready to ask him weird questions, ones he did not really want to answer.

"Nevermind," he said quickly, shaking his head. "Let's go sit down in the other room." He ushered her into the living room, realizing that the candlelight was suddenly quite appropriate. He figured that he deserved to do something right by accident after today's fiasco, even if he should have remembered that Cagalli was coming over anyway.

In fact, perhaps_because_ of today's fiasco, he should have remembered that Cagalli was going to visit him.

"So," she said, walking over to the couch and plopping herself down on it with all the grace of a walrus. She smiled down at her hands, twisting her ring around her finger, and Athrun, with his coordinated eyes, could tell even in the dim candlelight that she was beginning to blush. He stood by the fireplace, unwilling to get too close to her when she was in such an uncommon and girly mood. "Did you guess what was inside the present?" She gazed over at him with her beautiful eyes.

Athrun felt his blood run cold. Cagalli had asked him to guess what was inside, and then he would be allowed to open it. She was still hoping that he would like what was inside that poorly-wrapped package, not knowing that the monstrosity within had already torn itself free, terrorized him and the rest of their friends, and nearly destroyed Orb.

"Well, um, you see…" Athrun began nervously. He swallowed and looked around the room for something his eyes could rest on, not daring himself to look at his girlfriend. "It's like, er, the, um, it was…well…" He pretended to be staring off into space at the lamp in the corner.

He saw Cagalli fold her arms triumphantly in the corner of his eye. "You have no idea what it is, do you?"

"Um, well actually, I…er…." Athrun attempted, his face turning back to her against his will.

The girl smirked at him, and she leaned back against the soft couch. "You have no idea," she repeated, gloating. She looked around the room, and then her expression turned to puzzlement. "Where is it?"

"It's, ah, um…"

Cagalli ignored his stammering in her usual fashion. "I'll let you open it now, so you should go get it."

Athrun's shoulders sagged suddenly, and he felt the truth spilling out. "The truth is Cagalli, I already know what was inside. The packaged was opened earlier. I didn't think that you would ever—"

Cagalli shot to her feet and seemed to explode. "You _what?!"_ she shouted. "You already opened it?!"

Athrun took a defensive step backwards, and found that he was still standing next to the fireplace, with nowhere to go. "No! I didn't! It opened itself!"

"Likely story!" she yelled, marching over to him angrily.

"It was Batty! And it attacked my doorknob!" Athrun cried desperately, moving to keep the coffee table between the two of them.

"Your _doorknob?!"_ Cagalli shrieked, not believing him for a moment. It sounded as if she thought he were just making up excuses both for opening the present and for living in a dump. And the excuses were lame, too.

"And then it went to the park! And took apart that weird statue of George Glenn! And it attacked a haro! And then it went after Birdy!" Athrun continued, jumping as Cagalli kept feinting left and right around the table.

"Athrun!" she yelled, leaping over the table and tackling him.

They fell on the floor with a thud, and Athrun struggled to break free. The girl was, however, strong and she had had some battle experience. She locked her elbow around the back of his neck and sat on his stomach, and Athrun realized he could not throw her off him without hurting her.

Cagalli's fiery golden eyes blazed down at him, and he felt that he was now facing the worst danger of the day. He held his breath and squeezed his eye shut, twisting his face away and expecting a hard slap.

But it did not come.

"Athrun," Cagalli said carefully. "What happened to your face?" He felt her release him, and he looked back at her as she sat up, still using him like some kind of beanbag. She was staring at the funny-colored, burned patch of skin around his eyes like he was some kind of poor woodland animal. (Probably a raccoon.)

"Well, that Bat-thing did that, too," he answered, his voice coming out more like a pout.

Cagalli's brow wrinkled. "So… you didn't open the present?"

"No, I already told you! It opened itself!" he responded hastily. "I woke up this morning and the present was gone, and then weird things started happening. And I just got back from fighting the damn thing." Athrun caught the sudden look of worry in Cagalli's eyes. "But I'm okay!" he insisted hurriedly. "It's just that I got a little burned, but I'm all treated and I'll be perfectly fine in a few days."

"You fought it?" she queried.

Athrun managed to prop himself up with his elbows so he could speak a little more normally to Cagalli. "Well, I think that after it broke free of the package, it tried to get out of the house, and used the doorknob hole. And then I think it was a little broken after that, so it tried to repair itself. But it couldn't find the right parts, so it attacked one of Lacus's haros and Kira's Birdy. And then it got a little deranged, so it… um…." Athrun's voice diminished until he was finishing in a mumble. "Attacked… the… er… Freedom…." He was definitely not looking at Cagalli, preferring the interesting weave of the carpet.

"It _what?! _Athrun, why did you design something so insane?!" she shook his shoulders, and he ended up falling off his elbows, back onto the floor. "What happened to the Freedom? Is Kira okay?"

"Gah," Athrun said as he landed on his back. "Everybody's fine. I took care of it. Though I suppose the Freedom's wings need to be rebuilt."

Cagalli stared at him in shock. "Why? What happened?"

"Um, Batty crawled inside the Freedom's wings and tapped into the circuits and stuff there to control it. Then I had to fight it so it wouldn't blow up the Archangel dock. And then I had to pull off the Freedom's wings because anything else might have caused a nuclear explosion." Athrun was amazed at how concise the explanation was.

"Oh." Cagalli blinked, and then looked a little sullen. "So you destroyed it?" she asked, her voice quiet and her eyes downcast.

"Yes," he answered, glad that he had.

"Then I don't have a present for you," she continued, throwing Athrun off guard.

"Er…."

"Okay, I know what it is," Cagalli announced suddenly. "Guess," she demanded imperiously.

Athrun swallowed. "I have no idea."

"My birthday present for you is… me, and the time I get to spend with you." She blushed, and then looked at him sternly. "That better be good enough for you."

He nodded. "It is." Anything was better than Batty.

Cagalli leaned down to gently kiss him, and Athrun suddenly realized the awkwardness of the situation. He, lying on the floor, with Cagalli straddling and kissing him.

Wait… she didn't expect him to open _this_ present instead, did she?

* * *

Well, sorry to everyone who believed me when I said this would be posted soon after the first chapter. Um, I guess I lied. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed The Birthday Misadventures of Athrun Zala. I hope all of your birthdays include proper adventures, rather than misadventures accidentally put forth by your well-intentioned friends.

-Tobi Tortue


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